Panic!!

Tuesday night was one of the longest nights of my life. This may sound like a dramatic statement that reeks of hyperbole but it is true (though not literally).

I got home from work at 345pm, as I do most days, and settled in to eat my Subway sub that I purchased for dinner (Mmm, foot long Tuna subs!!). I turned on the TV to see nothing but a black screen. This was a little disconcerting but it happens from time to time. So I called Shaw Cable and the message told me it would be at least 10 minutes to speak to a specialist and would I like to enter my number for a call-back. (Side note: I love the "call-back" option. Since I have a cell phone and no home phone, I hate chewing through my minutes while waiting on hold). About half an hour later a Shaw representative called me back. I explained that my cable was out as well as my Internet. The rep reviewed my signal and said there was no signals bouncing back from my cable boxes and modem. Not good. The rep then said that my neighbours did not appear to be having any difficulties. Really not good. At this point I started to get a little worried that I may be without access to the outside world for a while. The rep told me that someone was going to need to come out to my residence to check out the problem. PANIC ATTACK APPROACHING. However, Shaw would be able to send someone out to my house the next day. WHEW!! Less Panic. I agreed to an appointment for the Wednesday between 500-800. Please be closer to 500, I didn't want to miss Modern Family at 700.

Once my callback from Shaw was complete, I sat quietly in a house without any Internet or cable. What the hell was I going to do? I suppose I could read what was happening on my new Blackberry Torch (love my new phone) but that didn't seem practical for all the stuff I like to read and look at each night. The worst part? It was US election night and I wanted to watch Fox News and MSNBC and couldn't. Also, it was Canucks/Oilers on TV and I really can't stand listening to the local Oilers broadcast on the radio. Just biased coverage on 630 CHED.

At least I was able to watch stuff I had PVR'd but it really wasn't the same. And then the moment came, nothing left on the PVR and it was 7pm. Now what? Was it too early to go to bed? Maybe. Should I do some chores? Not likely. I was officially left with nothing motivating to do. I sat on the couch for another 20 minutes or so and then decided I would just go to bed and continue reading The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (PS: good book but takes a while to get going).

Normally, I watch the news before going to sleep so this was obviously out of the question so I went to bed with little knowledge of the hockey game score or the election results. I kind of wished that I would wake up and have my cable back... No such luck, no cable on Wednesday morning.

Fast forward to Wednesday night and the Shaw Cable visit. Apparently my cable signal booster fried. I didn't even know there was a booster on the network. Any how, the technician got my Internet and cable up and running and I couldn't be more happy, my 24 hour nightmare was over.

In hindsight, I suppose I could have done more and I failed in the face of adversity. I think I need to address my reliance on technology. What would happen to me if the Zombie Apocalypse ever came???

Election Fever

As a Canadian, I watch the US election as a somewhat interested observer but I have no real horse in the race. In the past, I have said in the past that if I was an American I would most certainly be a Republican. However, over the past couple of years I have come to the conclusion that I could not support the Republican party. Believe it or not, I was still a supporter of the Republican party during the Bush years. I may not have liked Bush as President but I felt that the GOP still stood for some values that I supported. During the Obama administration though, I feel that the Republicans have essentially sold out to the far-right special interests and the Fox News Network. The GOP now sells fear as their platform. Pure and simple fear. They sell bigotry and thinly veiled racism. They sell blame. They sell exclusion and panic.

Don't get me wrong, I have not become a bleeding heart liberal either. The Democrats have dropped the ball in a significant way as well. Obama has shown himself to be indecisive and ineffectual. He was elected with a mandate to make change and had the majorities in the House and Senate. What did he do? Hammered through a weak and watered down version of his health care bill. He couldn't pass a repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" and several other initiatives. He also absorbed all the blame for the bailouts and deficit spending without once really pointing the blame where it needed to go, the 2000-2008 administration. I strongly dislike Obama, the Leader. Obama, the man, seems like a decent enough guy and his intentions seem to be in the right place. He seems to be all FLASH and little SUBSTANCE. I suppose that's perfect for our sound-bite culture.

And then there is the Tea Party!! LOL. Crackpots of the world unite! Actually, I think some of their ideas are not too bad. I like some Libertarian ideologies and theoretically, it could work. In the case of the Tea Party though, they seem to have tapped in to the Nut Job database and nominated some real "winners". Christine O'Donnell? Please. Sharron Angle? Yikes. Ron Paul? Holy Batshit Crazy!! Are these really the most noticeable candidates you folks want to be running. Dear God...

I suppose at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter who gets elected. The only job of a politician, it seems, is to get re-elected. Each party seems to be falling in to its own version of Isolationism. They don't want outsiders to get involved and think that everything will be okay if they just ignore the damning evidence of their own failures. Obama was probably the most palatable political type since Bill Clinton and he has blown it. Can he get anything done in the next two years? We will see. This could be Obama's crowning achievement or unmitigated failure. As I said earlier, I have no horse in the race but as long as 2012 doesn't end in Sarah Palin being President, I think we will be okay.

Am I Too Old for Video Games?

One of my Facebook friends made a post yesterday that he had pre-ordered the game Call of Duty: Black-Ops and it got me thinking that I should get my order in too. And then I was struck with a sense that maybe I was a little too excited about a new video game considering I am 38 years old. Some of my friends are gamers but not too hardcore. One of my friends likes playing the Lego games. I find that a little too juvenile for my tastes but who am I to judge. I like games where I get to shoot shit as well as sports games. I also enjoy Real Time and Turn based Strategy games. All I am really thankful for though is that I don't play WoW.

Last weekend I bought a game called Vanquish and it was crazy, awesome. I couldn't believe how much fun it is and was quite willing to tell all those I might think would listen. And now this weekend the Red Dead Redemption Zombie DLC is out and I find myself in a state of eager anticipation to play it. Almost giddy actually.

So, the question is: Am I Too Old for Video Games?

If I am, what was the cut-off age? Is 30 too old? If I am not, what would be the upside age. The ESA published a report this year that said the average age of a video gamer is 34, with 49% of all gamers aged from 18-49. At what point is it no longer acceptable to be excited by the prospect of a new Star Wars game or new Sims?

Let me know what you think...

VK

Too Much Information

I wonder what is more embarrassing: going in to a drug store and buying only a jar of Vaseline or going in to a drug store and buying a box of "Close Fit" (read: small sized) condoms. I would have to go with the Vaseline being the most uncomfortable to buy. I can't speak to the other scenario but I did go buy a jar of Vaseline last week. I have been suffering with a very dry nasal passages and the only thing that seems to help is the petroleum jelly. I went to the Shoppers Drug Mart downstairs at work with the sole purpose of buying Vaseline. When I got to the counter the clerk looked at me kind of funny. I knew what she was thinking but I kept my head down and walked out after paying without saying a word. I don't embarrass easily but I felt a little sorry for myself. At least if you are buying "small" condoms that mean you are getting a little "sumthin' sumthin'). Vaseline and the single man can really only mean one thing in most people's minds.

However, I tell this story to illustrate a point. I think we live in a society where we share a little too much about ourselves with people we don't know. There is a good chance that someone is going to read this blog that doesn't know me. But from this one post you know three things at a minimum about me. One: I have a dry nose. Two: I don't buy small condoms - make your own inference from that statement. Three: I might feel uncomfortable about what people might think about my "self-gratification" habits. Read more of my blog posts and you can probably figure out more about me. The proliferation of social networking sites such as Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, etc has put our lives on display. And while we think we can live behind an anonymous title (like Vegaskev) most people can be tracked down with very little determined sleuthing.

For instance, I follow some interesting people on Twitter and they (as well as me) put somewhat private details out there for all to see. I've seen people break-up, talk about their sexual exploits and in some cases describe how they just broke a law. And all of this is out in the open for the whole Internet to see. Sites such as Foursquare or the new Facebook app telling people where you are further put one's life out in the open for all to witness.

Is all this information good or bad? I'm torn. I have no real issue with sharing my life with others but I am also reserved when I need to be. I won't criticize my bosses or company. I won't talk about my family or my friends that don't have an on-line presence. If they don't have a Facebook account or Twitter then I won't talk about them. Seems fair. We never know who is reading or or watching our lives unfold on-line. However, does a 16 year old girl or guy know what is acceptable to post? Hell, does a 30 year old know? Do they know what will come back to haunt them in future? Does that picture of them smoking a joint, or pounding Jack & Cokes, on their FB page ruin a job opportunity for them down the line? Does bragging about ones sex life or talking about how you called in sick to play the new Halo hurt? Once you start giving out Too Much Information on in the net, your expectation of privacy disappears. Forever!

Let me know what you think...

VK

Tasty Food that Kills (maybe)

I have never been one to shy away from food that is deemed to be "bad for you" but I must admit that as I get older I find myself thinking about the healthiness of some of the food I eat.

This really came to the forefront of my mind when a new FatBurger franchise opened up by my place of work. I have had FatBurger exactly once in my life and it was delicious so the prospect of having a store just downstairs was very appealing. The day that the storefront opened I made a decision that I was going to go down and get myself some lunch from there. Unfortunately, or fortunately, the line was way to long to eat there and I decided on some EDO.

When I returned to my desk, one of my co-workers had sent out a "nutrition" guide for FatBurger item menus. Normally I would just ignore this email but I decided to check it out. I was appalled at how bad for a person this stuff was.

Example: My plan was to have a burger, onion rings and a shake. These are all things that FatBurger is known for. Total calories: 2280. Total Fat: 114g. Total Sodium: 2330mg.

Now, I am no health expert but even I could identify that this could not be good for you. The Heart and Stroke Foundation suggests an individual should limit themselves to no more than 2300mg of sodium per DAY. This meal would have exceeded the daily limits for all three of the categories listed above.

So, after I saw this I was amazed and then I started looking at the values for other things that I like to eat or drink when I go out. Here are some examples:

My favorite weekend breakfast of McDonalds Sausage w/Egg McMuffins, hashbrowns and apple juice: 840 calories, 46g of fat, and 1700mg of sodium (WTF??)

I love the Wendy's Double Baconator: 980 calories, 63g of fat and 1830mg of sodium. This is just the burger, no fries!!

Hooters Hot Wings (5 only, and who just eats 5?): 866 calories, 63g of fat and 1379mg of sodium. (this doesn't include the Bleu Cheese or Ranch dips.

I could keep on going but this is actually making me feel a little queasy. I suppose the lesson to be learned here is that while this stuff may taste good, it is not good for you. I am not saying that you (or I) shouldn't eat food like this but to do so in moderation. I decided a while ago to limit myself to unhealthy food like this to only 3 days a week. The rest of the time I try to eat salads, fruit, veggie sandwiches and the like. While eating healthy food may not counter-act the damage the unhealthy food is doing, I figure it's a good start.

Thoughts? Let me know.

I'm back?

Well, it has been over 4 years since my last post and I think I am ready to try this blogging thing again. Only this time I am going to just write about whatever pops in to my head. If people start to read this site then I may let people suggest topics they'd like my opinion on.

The world has changed significantly in the past 4 years (to say the least). My life has gone on. I bought a new place in 2007 and still like where I work. 10 years in the same place and I really have no complaints.

The New York Yankees lost on Friday night to the Texas Rangers and now the season is over. It kind of weird but I am feeling a sense of loss. And while I don't play for the Yankees (obviously), I feel like I am out of the game. I was thinking about this yesterday and trying to figure why I feel a void and then it came to me. I figure I watched approximately 130-140 games this season. That's got to be close to 500 hours of viewing time in the past six months taken up by the New York Yankees. That 500 hours equates to over 20 days since the season began. And if I include the time reading the New York newspapers online and my favorite Yankees blog (http://yankees.lhblogs.com/) it has to be another 150 hours during the season. All of a sudden I am up to 650 hours during the last 6 months revolving around the New York Yankees. 650 hours is 27 days! That's nearly a month. Wow!! Basically that works out to 16.7% of my life over the past six months. Factor in sleeping (31.3%) & working (22.3%), that makes the New York Yankees the third most time consuming factor in my life for the past 6 months.

And I wonder why I feel so empty after the play-off loss. Fuck, I need a life!! But now that it is over, what can I do? I starting reading a book yesterday so it's not all bad.

'Til next time.

VK

Cheating

So Barry Bonds cheated. What a news flash. There is cheating in every aspect of life. No matter where you look or go, someone is cheating. Whether it is someone not paying their taxes or fooling around on their significant others, cheating is everywhere.

I ask myself why and try to think of the times I may have cheated. I have stopped counting so as to maintain the high opinion of myself.

The authors of the new book about Bonds say he cheated because of jealousy for other athletes (namely Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa). I look at all the times I may have cheated and I don't think jealousy ever played a role in my cheating. For Bond's to fill himself with chemicals and garbage that no one knows what the long term effects are is just lunacy. All this for vanity. How messed up can you be to do this? The irony of the situation is that Bonds was already regarded as one of the best players of all-time when he started taking the drugs.

I wonder why Bonds did what he did? I mean, apart from the vanity. Why would he not appreciate his acomplishments and live with that? Barry Bonds is probably the only person that can answer that.

Should he be suspended? No. Steriods and performance enhancing drugs were not banned by MLB. Bonds should retire and allow Babe Ruth's 714 HR mark remain intact as the second best total of all time. Will he? Not a chance. His ego is as bloated as his hat size.

Shame on you Barry Bonds. Shame on you.

Vegaskev goes to Vegas

Final Day - Thursday

Moving day. We were going to be leaving the IP and change to the Luxor. I have never stayed at the Luxor so I was looking forward to trying a new hotel. We started the day by having breakfast at Denny's. Ah, the Lumberjack Slam. Good eats. I couldn't believe that there was a 15 minute wait to get in. Who waits 15 minutes to get into Denny's? Apparently I do, since IA wanted to eat there. I didn't mind though. I like Denny's as well.

We went back to the IP to check out and head to Luxor. We had a nice, older cabbie. He knew a bunch of Vegas trivia and was quite friendly. We got to the Luxor to a huge line-up for the registration counter. IA got into line and I waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, we got a room and headed upstairs. We had a pyramid room which looked out onto The Strip. We could see the airport, the Trop and Hooters. Good view.

IA decided that he wanted to gamble so I suggested we head over to my favorite, Mandalay Bay. We walked through the Luxor and headed into the shops at Mandalay Place. IA got to see the Nike Golf Store and then some high-end pet store. Yikes, there were some extremely expensive things for dogs. Who is the target market for this stuff?

Any how, we walked around the tables at Mandalay trying to find a $5-10 table for IA but to no avail. There was only $15 and up. This used to be unusual for a Thursday afternoon. Vegas really is changing. So we headed back to the Luxor to find a table. Luckily for IA we found a $5 table and sat down. It was pretty good. The dealers were friendly and we had a great time. Eventually IA lost his C-Note and decided to walk away. I was down about $150 at that time. I decided to stay for a while. IA left to wander and kept playing. I was down $190 within moments of IA leaving and I was getting ready to walk away when I went on quite a rush. About 45 minutes to an hour later I was only down $30. I needed a break so I left. I felt pretty good about the comeback.

We then headed through the Excalibur to get to New York New York for dinner at ESPNZone Las Vegas. We watched the Lakers play Sacramento. Blow-out. Dinner was awesome. We had wings, cheese fries and burgers. IA was able to order a fantastic import (Molson Canadian) and got his collectors glass.

We headed back to the Luxor so IA could collect on his bet made at the sportsbook. I had to buy souvernirs so we parted ways. I bought the gifts and decided to head to bed. I had to be up at 5am to catch my flight.

Well, that was Vegas this year. It was very relaxing and did the touristy things that I never do. I had a great time and I think that IA did as well. I am already looking forward to my trip here next year with Bentley, Dirty Dan and IA. Who knows, maybe Piano Girl and B-Rad will come as well.

Day Four: Down $101.00 (including losses).

Vegaskev goes to Vegas

Day Three - Wednesday

Breakfast was at the Tropical Breeze Cafe located in the Flamingo. It was pretty good. There are only so many buffets that one can eat so only one breakfast buffet while in Vegas.

We decided to head south on the strip today since we went north yesterday. The first stop was the Bellagio.

I like the Bellagio. I has a classy feel to it without looking garish. I think the Wynn was a little to over-the-top. My main reason for going to the Bellagio was to go to the Gallery of Fine Art for the Impressionist Landscape: From Corot to Van Gogh show. It was fantastic and totally worth the $15.00 entry fee. For those of us without art history degrees, they had a hand-held device that told you the history of the painting and artist by punching in the corresponding number to the number beside the painting. Even IA enjoyed himself because of the hand-held tour guide. I went to the shop after the show and bought a couple of prints. One was a Gaudin and the other a Renoit.

After visiting the Bellagio we headed across the street to the Aladdin. The Aladdin is going to be rebranded this year as Planet Hollywood. I am not quite sure how the hotel will change so we will see. In the Aladdin we went to a sports bar named Blondie's. Here IA had a beer that he rated 5/5. I think the name of the beer was Newcastle. We watched the Canada/Russia hockey game and watched Canada fall out of the Olympics. Hopefully this will force Hockey Canada to stop sending pro's and get back to using amateur players.

When the game was over we went for lunch at Cheeseburger Las Vegas. Damn fine cheeseburgers. IA had a disappointing beer called Hefeweizin (2.5/5). The food was good though. A little pricey, but what in Vegas isn't.

After lunch, IA decided he wanted go back to the Wynn to pick up a shirt at the Ferrari store and pick up the shirt at Banana Republic. I decided to head back to the room to have a nap before we had to go to the basketball game.

The basketball game (UNLV v Utah) was great. US college sports is pretty high energy even when the teams are not very good. There were about 9500 people there to watch the game. The Thomas and Mack Arena is a good venue for sports and our seats had a good view of the action. Not a bad deal, $23.00US for tickets. I would certainly go again.

And did I mention college cheerleaders?...

After the game we grabbed a bite to eat and IA called it a night. I think all the walking around was getting to us as even IA admitted that he never realized how far apart each of the resort complexes are. Too funny. I decided to head down and play some blackjack. I played for about 2 hours (or so). Lost about $100.00. I played with two of the worst BJ players ever. In fact, one of them hit a 17 with the dealer showing 7. The clown hit and got a 3. The dealer flipped an 8 to get 11 and then a 10 to make 21. Because this guy took the three we all lost at the table. I think even the dealer was getting pissed at these idiots. Oh well. I headed up to the room around 1-130. Good times.

Thursday: Luxor action.

Day Three: Spent $176.00 (including losses).

Vegaskev goes to Vegas

Day Two - Tuesday

We woke up around 930 in the morning and decided it was buffet time. We headed over to Harrah’s for the big breakfast buffet. Wow, was that a lot of food. Lots of good stuff to eat and a dessert bar that was second to none. I rated it a 3 out of 4 as did IA. IA was extremely hungry. Kind of like the Indian’s in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

Then it was time to head out to see the casino’s that were north of us. We walked by the Venetian. It is a nice looking place. However, we were looking to hit the Wynn so there was no time for the Venetian. As some of you may know, the Wynn is the newest resort in Vegas. It was extremely expensive to build and you can see where the money was spent. From the mountain out front to the excellent décor inside everything was built with class in mind. However, I was not really that impressed. Yes, it is a beautiful place but is it any better than the Bellagio? I somehow doubt it.

We walked through the casino and I decided I wanted to get a Wynn Player’s Card. A player’s card is what is used to rate players and help calculate comps. The comp levels are the highest I have ever heard of. They will are looking for $75.00 a hand play, for 4 hours a day on the table games, before they even start to offer comps. Wow. That is high. Just to give you an idea, the IP will start comping you with $10.00 a hand play. I am not so sure that the Wynn is 7.5 times better than the IP. It probably is but not to me.

We got the cards and headed towards the mall. I spotted the sportsbook and knew I needed to check it out. On the TV was a soccer game and IA went crazy. It was Arsenal versus Real Madrid. We had to stop so he could watch the game. According to IA, it was an excellent game. Arsenal won so I guess that makes him happy. During the game, IA got a little thirsty. I went up to the bar to get IA a CC and Coke. This single shot drink was an astonishing $9.00. Unbelievable! I hope it was good.

After the game we headed to the Wynn shops. High-end stuff and well laid out. We went to the Ferrari dealership. I would have liked to have looked at the cars but the charge was $10.00 to get in and they did not allow pictures. Screw that!

After that we headed over to the Fashion Mall. It is just like any other mall I have ever been in. However, we discovered that a shirt at Banana Republic was $30.00 cheaper than in the Forum Shops at Caesars.

Then it was off to Caesars. We went through Treasure Island and then off to the Mirage.

Caesars was awesome as always. We walked through the stores and came across the memorabilia store that sells movie stuff. I just mentioned that I would like to see if they had a Domino poster signed by Keira Knightley. Sure enough, IA just happened to be standing right next to it. $795.00 seemed a little excessive though.

Soon, it was dinner time and we went to Planet Hollywood. It was pretty good. Lots of little hotties. I rated it 3 out of 5 and IA rated it 3 out of 5. However, the beer was a 5/5 according to IA (Killian’s Red).

We were looking for something to do and decided to head over to the Improv at Harrah’s. The comedians were pretty good. The feature comic was Ralph Harris and he spent his time riffing on relationships. He was quite funny. IA actually had tears following. Good times, good people.

And that was our day. I did not even hit the tables. I hope to gamble some Wednesday.

More pictures later today.

Day two (spent $84.00)

Vegaskev goes to Vegas

Day One - Monday

First class is the only way to fly. I checked in fairly quickly at the airport and was on my way. I had 3 hours to kill in Vancouver, so I went to the Maple Leaf Lounge and enjoyed surfing the web and watching some TV shows that I had saved to my hard drive.

I was able to dine on some fantastic cookies and had a nice relaxing time. No crying kids or retards talking loudly on their cellphones.

Speaking of idiots and cellphones, I was sitting in my seat on the flight to LV when some clown sat down in the seat beside me. This guy had his phone ringer on high. It was the worst ring I have ever heard. Then this guy blabbed about crap that did not need to be shared with the rest of business class. Cellphones should be banned from planes. And to the think that the US government will soon pass a law allowing people to use their phones during flights.

Landed in Vegas and it was probably the coldest I have ever seen it here. It was only 10C. Yikes. On Sunday they actually had snow in some of the higher areas around the city. I come all this way for weather that is similar to home? Hell yeah, it’s Vegas!

One you first land here you get a sense of how much money is floating around this town. Everywhere you look is shiny and new, expensive cars. Then you see the adverts for the new condo and housing developments. I have been here quite a bit but I can see the change that has gone on here.

I get to the Imperial Palace (my hotel of choice) and get checked in right away. Usually it can take quite some time. I heard that the Magic Convention is in town this week. Good thing I did not tell Indian Assassin, he would have assumed I meant “Magic” Johnson. I like the Imperial. Sure it is run down and a little “low-rent” compared to the billion dollar behemoths that surround it, but I think it retains a little old Vegas charm. The Imperial only has about 18 months left and then will be blown up. It’s a shame but I guess that’s progress. The rooms aren’t anything to rave about but it doesn’t matter, as long as the sheets are clean.

I finished watching a movie I started on the plane “Waiting...” in my room. The movie is quite humorous and can make you wonder about what happens to your food before it gets served to you in a restaurant.

Then it was time to hit the tables. I played a little blackjack. The Imperial used to offer a nice selection of table games but has undergone some pretty hefty renovations. Blackjack seemed harder to find and a natural 21 is only paying 6-5 now while playing double deck. This is not so good. It increases the houses edge while playing. I am not happy about this change. The Imperial has been taken over by Harrah’s Entertainment and you can tell the IP has become much more corporate. Disappointing.
Then I figured I would try out the Imperial’s “new” poker room. They have moved it from a hallway upstairs to a prime location at the front of the casino. The dealers were friendly and I sat at a table with 4 other Canadians. I was playing $1-2 no-limit and did not have much luck. I played for about two hours without catching any decent cards and getting rolled over a couple of time. I decided it was time to pack it in since it had been a long day of travel.

IA got here around 2am.

Day one (down $116.00)

Wild On

I have been trying to decide what to talk about this week. At first, I was thinking about writing about racism ( I saw the movie "Glory Road" and it got me thinking). Then I thought about discussing the Canadian election. That is kind of a lame topic but there are some interesting points I could make. And then I came across this beauty of a TV show on Sunday night, Wild On (aka Taradise). Now, I know that in the past I have had positive things to say about Tara but this show was absolutely the worst TV show ever made. I am not sure if it is really bad because Tara was in it or because Paris Hilton was the guest star. Tara and Paris had some cocktails and they toured some areas of Greece with the ex-fiance of Paris, Paris Latsis. If you have ever heard the term "ugly American", it certainly applied to these two.

Don't get me wrong, the show is entirely entertaining but I am sure that this is not entertaining in the way the producers had intended. This show has since been cancelled before all the episodes were shown. I hope that the Canadian network airing this will show the entire series. Just like you stare at an accident on the freeway, you don't want to miss a minute of this car wreck.

Speaking of Paris Hilton, is there any one else on the planet dumber than her? I think not!

Hooters and Strippers

Friday was the guy’s night out after a fairly long week of work. He headed to Hooters for wings and beer. There was lots of drinking and eating of the unhealthy and breaded deathsticks known as chicken wings. They are so good but you can hear your arteries hardening as you dip them in ranch and devour. Our waitress was Luscious Lisa and she is quite funny. She has claimed that she was 1/22 Metis or some such crazy percentage. The last time I was there I thoroughly enjoyed the ludicrous conversation between her and Mr. Bengal about how they were both an extremely unlikely partially Metis. Too funny!

Any how, we decided to head to the Crazy Horse to view some exotic dancing and this leads me to the point of this posting. Why do some men feel the need to pay upwards of $10-15 for a colour laser copy of a promotional poster that the stripper (sorry, dancer) is giving away? And do the girls feel exploited in any way? Why are strippers so appealing to a portion of the male population? It is not like they are going to let you take them home just because you are throwing loonies at them or giving the girls some singles. Now all this being said, it is fun to go to the rippers and watch the other people that are there with you. For instance, the boyfriend/girlfriend townies are always fun to watch. I can just imagine the conversation they have while driving in from some hick Saskatchewan town.

Now I know that we all like to believe that the girls are “just trying to put themselves through college” or some such shit but this seems unlikely. Drugs are commonplace in the industry and a portion of the girls strip to keep the dope coming. A guy I know used to manage a strip bar in Vancouver and he used to tell me the stories about brutal and disgusting the business can be. I believe the quote he used was “meat grinder”. Nice image.

Will I go again? Almost certainly. Will I enjoy it? Yeah, probably. Does this make me a bad person? Hell no! Besides, I keep hoping I will see Elizabeth Berkley or Demi Moore. You never know.

Don't Call Me Kev

Today, I had a client (whom I have never talked to be before) call me "Kev". I am aware that the name of this blog says that I am indeed a "Kev". The thing is, my name is Kevin. There are a few things that people I don't know do that drive me insane and calling me "Kev" is one of them. Calling me "Kev" implies that we are friends or at least deal on some sort of personal level. My friends and family can call me "Kev" and I will never object. I remember back to when my Grandpa was alive he told me that he would never call me "Kev" as he felt it was disrespectful to call me something other than my birth name. I always that was kind of cool. I miss him. Any how, can you tell someone (client or otherwise) not to refer to you by your nickname or some sort of shortened name, especially when you introduce yourself using your full name ? How hard can it be to call me "Kevin". Two syllables, instead of one. And how about people you work with that you don't like? IA can call me "Kev" but can someone that sits near him (and hears him call me that) use it?

All I ask is if you don't know me, don't pretend we are familiar. We are not and probably never will be.

Message on Voice Mail

This is the gist of a message left on my voice mail this weekend:

"Where are you? Why are you not answering the phone? I need to find some strippers. Where are the strippers?"

Wow, someone had one too many pops on "The Strip".

I should point out that I called back (while enjoying a meal at Red Lobster) and provided two prime locations for silicone and cooch. I hope it was everything you hoped for Bengals!

Las Vegas

Why is it so hard to convince people to go to Vegas?

Friend #1: Question: Vegas? Will the trip cost me more than $500 all expenses included? Answer: Quit being cheap and pony up

Friend #2: Comment: I will have to check with my wife. Translation: Uh, no but I wish I could.

Friend #3: Excuse: But I'm going in January and my wife probably wouldn't let me go again. Translation: I won't even ask because I do not want the shame in being told "no"!

Friends #4: Comment: Maybe, I will have to see when Reading Week is and if the plant will be shut down during that week. Odds of coming: 30%

Friends #5: Excuse: I am just about done law school (read: expensive) and my boyfriend is going snowmobiling that week. Translation: Actually, I am okay with Bentleys excuse. She's cool and said she would come with me next year.

Friend #6: Excuse: My wife is pregant and may need my help. Translation: She is not due for 3 months after the trip so he is just scared as well.

Friend #7: Answer: Sounds good. Book it and let me know how much I owe you.

I can only imagine how hard it would be to find someone to go to Vegas if IA had any sort of life.

VK wishes everyone a safe new year and will return in January.

Why Do I Hate the Holiday Season?

This Christmas Day I found myself at home watching terrible movies (War of the Worlds, Fantastic 4) and thinking about how much I can't stand this time of year. And then I tried to remember why I hate it so much. Did I not get the gifts I wanted when I was a kid? Was there a traumatic moment that occurred when I was 3? Are people unbelievably phony to those around them at the holidays? The answer is probably yes to all of them.

Let's see what positive things I can remember that happened to me during the Christmas break.

1. I got a cool Deathstar (from Kenner) when I was 7 or so. It came with the some figures and even featured a trash chute from the prison to the garbage compactor. It was really awesome and ranks as the best Xmas gift ever. I wish I still had it but that is another story.
2. I went to California and Arizona with the folks while I was going to college. I really enjoyed the trip and it was great to see my late Grandparents. I actually have discovered how much I really miss them. We may not have always agreed on stuff but I respected them a lot.
3. And this year, Mom sent me a New York Yankees logo that she had made herself. Now this may not seem all that interesting but to me it meant a lot since I know that it took quite some time to make. (Thanks Mom).
4. The first Christmas with my nephew. He was 2-3 months old and was adorable. This was also before my sister went crazy (not literally, but close enough).

So, there you have it. 33 different Christmas days (so far) and only 4 memories that jump out. Now I do not mean to say that Christmas was a terrible time but not very memorable.

Now, what kind of negative things can I think of?

1. Any Christmas spent with certain relatives. When I look back at these so-called "Christmas reunions" I have to laugh. I don't think many of liked each other. Oh sure, we spent hours and hours in the same room, talking the same inane crap, and just dealt with it but they were just so boring. I can't see these ever happening again. However, I like the summer reunions. That way we all have hotel rooms and can get the hell out when we want to. Plus, they tend to be at my Aunt and Uncle's in Vancouver and I really like and respect them. I like all the Vancouver relatives. If I don't see the rest it doesn't really bother me. I should see my grandmother more, though (New Year's resolution?).
2. I think there is something mildly upsetting about being a kid living in the Great White North. The only real way to see all the toys you wanted was the Sears Christmas Wish Book. The parents said, "Write to Santa and ask him for the gifts you want. Be sure to include the page and item number on your list". I think the last comment should have made me suspicious. Any how, Xmas morning came along and I can barely contain myself. The catalogue made the toys look so cool. And yet, only 1 or 2 of the things I had asked for were in the pile. Lots of clothes and "crap" like that. Now, I don't want to come across as ungrateful but there is something cruel about making a kid do a list up and then not deliver.
3. I worked in a retail establishment every Christmas from 1990 until 1999 (except for the year I went to CA and AZ). Anyone who says the holiday season brings out the best in people is full of shit. I had people yell at me on Christmas Eve because I did not have the precious CD or Walkman (or some such crap) that they needed to buy for their kid. My response was usually something like, "Well, I had it yesterday. I guess you should not have waited until the very last minute". At this point they would usually turn red and threaten to complain to the "manager". Oh well, too bad, I was the manager. The stunts that went down at Wal-Marts this season where people got trampled is just another example. People are assholes and bring the misery on themselves.
4. Finally, the music and TV specials are so repetitive. Every year, I had to watch the same stupid specials and listen to the same garbage Christmas music. I want to kill someone when I hear any Christmas tune sung by Bryan Adams or Jessica Simpson. I have to admit that I do like some of the classics though.

So, why am I talking about this? Well, this year I actually caught the "Christmas Spirit" a couple of times. This really surprised me since it had not happened in quite some time. I have to ask myself if this is because I would hate to think I was getting soft. What next? I start to like kids or even dogs?

New Year's isn't usually so bad. I have seen and done many fun (and stupid) things on New Year's Eve and Day. The best part of New Year's is making resolutions and then breaking them 24 hours later. Oh yeah, and the 12 hours of football.

VK

Game Shows

I have never been a big fan of game shows (well, except for Dog Eat Dog - the fake boobs on the contestants always made me smile). However, this week NBC has been airing Deal or No Deal and I hate to admit it but I am enjoying it. Like most other game shows of the modern era, DoND is a rip-off of a foreign TV networks concept. This show is arguable the simplest game show since Card Sharks. I loved Card Sharks as a kid and I watch it once and a while on GSN. The conceited part of me says I should not watch this show since there is no skill at all involved with this game. At least with Millionaire or even the Price is Right you have to have the faintest of intelligence to be successful. With DoND you only need to be able to read numbers. The premise is simple. You pick a suitcase with a number on it. In the case is a card that has a dollar value on it. That is the amount you win if you eliminate all the other suitcases. I won't bore you with how you get the money (read the rules on the website). The only thing I don't like about the show is Howie Mandell (I guess his rating success with DoND means no more Boston Pizza ads). He is cheesier than Wink Martindale (although Wink was pretty cool back in the day). The voice overs are like the ones on the Apprentice, poorly dubbed. As a gambler, the show certainly appeals to me. What would I do if I was in the contestants place? Would I go for it? Or would I take the deal? I have no idea and that is what makes the show work in my eyes. Oh yeah, they have models from the Hooters modeling agency holding the cases. Who knew there was a modeling agency called Hooters? I wonder if this is any way affliated with the restaurant chain.

Its Christmas (or is that holiday) time. For a brief moment I had some holiday cheer. That feeling was short lived for reasons I will not go into at this time. It doesn't even feel like Christmas time as the temperature is warm and there is no snow. It is supposed to get as warm as 10C on the 25th. Yikes.

I hope everyone enjoys the holidays and I promise to not take two weeks to put up a new post.

VK

Funny Blog

I have been reading a pretty funny blog for the past few weeks and thought I would share with it with you all. Check it out!

It can be somewhat offensive at time so if you are are friend of Bill O'Reilly or not into un-PC writings, this site is not for you.

Afraid of the Dark is permanently posted under Links on the top right of my blog.

Ricky Gervais

I must have looked like an idiot on the bus yesterday. I had downloaded the Ricky Gervais podcast from iTunes and was listening to it on my iPod. It was seriously funny. Ricky Gervais is the comic behind the hilarious BBC series The Office and its US counterpart on NBC. It was all I could do not to burst out laughing. I definitely recommend you download it and give it a listen.

VK